Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Tracy Anderson is an evil misogynist bitch

I don’t know how many people know you Tracy Anderson is, but she is pure evil. Several months ago many people in the fitness community mocked a video of hers where she was training Gwyneth Paltrow and said that no woman should ever lift a weight over five lbs. A totally laughable statement considering women have to pick up things that weigh more than that just about every day (groceries? their purse? babies? my cock?). Pretty silly, but at least in that context seemed relatively harmless. That is, until I read this article.

Pretty twisted shit right? Follow Ms. Anderson’s diet plan and you can be just like Gwyn! Get a skeletal frame that will leave you so weak you won’t be able to pick up your daily meal replacement shake! Dizzy spells! Osteoporosis! And probably a heart attack in five years! The fact that this woman can run a business off a plan that will literally kill her clients is sickening. I can’t wait for the next diet fad that recommends heroine addiction or chemotherapy as effective weight loss tools.

Seriously ladies, there are plenty of HEALTHY ways to get lean and fit without irreparably hurting yourself. Here’s one, oh and here’s one more. And no, goddamnit! You will not turn into Nicole Bass by doing any of this! Unless of course you are already cycling stanozolol and deadlifting three times your bodyweight. Below is a little table that my unqualified, uneducated ass thinks should be the MINIMUM strength requirements for women, and one even for all my pansy ass man friends.


3 strict pull ups, 10 push-ups, 1 back squat with 3/4 your body weight on the bar.


5 strict pull ups, 30 push-ups, 1 back squat with 1.5 times your body weight on the bar.

These standards are not hard to attain, and any basic training protocol should get you there with minimal effort. If you need help reaching any of these goals, let me know and I can point you to several beginner plans that will get you stronger, leaner, and won't kill you in the process.

In other news, I've decided to take on the 60 day PLP challenge. If anyone wants to join me, I'd love the company.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Things I read that you may enjoy

I spend a good part of my day ignoring my work emails and reading up on a variety of subjects. If you are interested where I get most of my knowledge from take a look at these here links.

Fitness: - Eric Cressey is one of the most influential trainers out there today. I'm in the middle of his Maximum Strength Program and it is amazing. I read everything this guy writes with a gluttonous abandon.
- Tony Gentilcore is Eric Cressey's business partner and his blog is funny and informative. He is also really sexy. - This is the blog of John Welbourne, former NFL player and the programmer for Crossfit Football. His blog is full of great information and he regularly has guest pieces from luminaries like Mark Rippetoe, Chuck Norris, and Rambo. - (subscription required) For $25/year you can get access to the full archives of the Crossfit Journal. There is a ton on information here on just about every type of training out there. While it is a bit biased towards the Crossfit Methodology, the chance to sit in on some of the seminars they hold is worth the price alone. - (subscription required) This monthly internet mag costs $30/year and is as valuable if not more so, than the Crossfit Journal. There are articles about nutrition, lifting, programming, and just about everything else that someone who wants to get fit should read. - I don't read all the articles that are posted here and there are a few too many pictures of roided out body builders for me, but anything written by Dan John, Eric Cressey, Mark Rippetoe, and John Berardi should be read three or four times each.

- Mark Sisson is a former elite level Ironman Triathlete and one of the most popular paleo advocates out there. His blog comments on just about everything under the sun, but it is primarily a nutrition blog. He also made me famous a few months ago. - Another paleo advocate, I recommend that anyone who even has a passing interest in fitness and nutrition listen to every single one of his podcasts.
- Brian St. Pierre used to work as a nutritionist at Eric Cressey's gym. Now he's got his own gig and I think his take on food is the most in line with mine out of all the blogs I read.

Fluff: - I usually just read the restaurant reviews, and lately, Mark Bittman's articles. But when something happens in the news, if I am remotely interested, I'll get my info from the Times.
- Best free paper in America. Again, mostly for restaurant reviews, but they also have Savage Love, which is the best advice column out there. I'm still a Bay Area sports fan, and this is where I get almost all my news from. Tim Kawakami is the man. - I think I have a NY bias for where I get my information from. Did you read that article about Scientology? Those people are fucking nuts!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Binge Day!

Saturday was my first binge day. Sunday through Friday I maintain a relatively strict diet of meat, fish, vegetables, some fruit, nuts, seeds and healthy fats, but in order to maintain some kind of social life that allows me to go out and dine with friends, every Saturday from now on will be binge day. The idea isn’t to shove any and all sugary, gluteny food product down my gullet, but rather give myself a day where I can just eat whatever looks good and not think about food too much. Ideally, I would have this perspective every day, but that has led me to make too many poor food choices and works against the level of fitness I am working my way towards.

Throughout the day I had a wide array of indulgent meals. Fried chicken and waffles from Brown Sugar for brunch, an ice cream sundae from Fenton’s , some of the most amazing pizza I’ve experienced on either coast, and some delicious BBQ at a house party. Needless to say the day lived up to it’s name. We also spent most of the day walking around San Francisco, and even hiked up Mt. Sutro, and I think I am going to make it a point to include some vigorous physical activity alongside the binging. Next week I’m hoping to snag a table at Flour + Water, I was told yesterday that there is a two month wait before the next reservations can be made. What other Bay Area digs should I check out in the coming weeks?

Also, I am definitely going to start adding these into my lifting routine:

Sunday, March 6, 2011

A Deal With(out?) the Devil

My mother is a sugar addict, with a bevy of health problems, a poor diet, and other issues. A few years back she was hit by a car while riding her bike and broke her spine. Needless to say this changed her entire life and has been trying to cope since. I love my mom, and, as her son, have often thought about how I could help her. I don’t know anything about medicine, or psychology, or pain management, but the one issue I noticed recently was her diet. Sugar, the addictive, insidious bastard that it is, was present in just about everything that she ate. Combine that with her low protein vegetarian diet and you have a recipe for poor health in general. Combined with her other issues, I was desperate to try to convince her to change.

I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but in a moment of inspiration, I made a deal with her, that she eagerly, but timidly, accepted. You see I drink a lot of booze. I didn’t start drinking until I was 18, but just about every week since I have been getting drunk. My mom, probably correctly, worries that I imbibe too much and has asked me to scale it back several times. I know she has my best interests at heart, and I hers, so I made her a deal. Start and stick with a strict paleo diet for 30 days, and I will quit drinking for the rest of 2011.

Obviously she is going to have issues from her accident that diet alone won’t be able to fix. But I truly believe that having a healthy diet and breaking her sugar addiction will help her in general. I think a good diet will improve her mood, make her stronger, and give her more energy. These things will hopefully make dealing with her injury a little easier. She’s already a week in and has been doing an amazing job. She was at a baby shower the other day and turned down all sorts of sweets. She’s also started eating meat, which is another big step for her. I don’t think she’ll be cheating for the next three weeks, which means I’m starting to contemplate what my life will like post alcohol. It’s a little intimidating, but I’m willing to go without for the health and happiness of my mom. And secretly, I think abstaining will do me a world of good.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


Thanks, JS.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Charlie Sheen is the man

I love anyone who runs their mouths and spouts insane drug addled nonsense. I love it even more when said bullshit is combined with New Yorker cartoons that I wouldn’t have understood in the first place. Check it out!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Maybe I'm not that fat

Soooo, I may have been a bit melodramatic in my last post. I’m probably not that fat. I’m not this guy, or this guy, or even this guy. And while it’s true that I’ve been slacking in the diet department, I have not been lazy in the gym. I am currently finishing up my third month of Eric Cressey’s Maximum Strength, and I’ve never been stronger. I can confidently say that while I’ve added maybe twenty pounds to my frame, fifteen of that has been muscle. When I lean out again, it will only help my general fitness, and (hopefully) my physique. Coach Rippetoe makes this same point, but much more elegantly than I ever could.

Also, January Jones is smokin hot.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

I am a fat bastard

It’s true, just look at that picture. Compare it to what you see below in my last entry from a year ago. It’s been a somewhat steady decline since then, but I’m ready to hop back on the wagon. This time, no stopping until I get my goddamn sixpack! Current diet plan, avoid refined carbs and sugars, avoid gluten, and avoid booze, except on Saturday, which is when anything goes. Diet is effective immediately.

That being said, I have been keeping quite active during this "bulking" phase. I'm stronger than I've ever been before and am actually a little bit more flexible. Thank you Eric Cressey! Also, I'm totally bored so I'm hoping to keep this blog more regular. Ha! Famous last words right?